and a reply from Heinz

Subsequent to the Heinz players use of the secret bean pool prior to last nights Team KO match against LSG Dragons, an anonymous source has revealed that following extensive discussions with leading officials from a well known cycle racing team, the contents of a suspicious looking jiffy bag were added to the water in the pool. A Heinz statement  strongly refutes claims by the DCMS report (Digital, Culture, Media and Sport) that the contents of this mysterious jiffy bag contained performance enhancing drugs and points out that Heinz had been granted Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs) to administer the powerful corticosteroid triamcinolone in order to treat numerous allergies and respiratory issues that effect the rapidly ageing players of the Heinz table tennis team.  


The same anonymous source has also revealed that since the existence of the secret bean pool has now been disclosed, the Heinz players are now prepared to 'cash in' on its therapeutic benefits, and, subject to a significant purchase of Heinz baked beans, reveal the exact location of the secret underground vault that contains the pool. This offer is open to all Wigan TT players (discounts available to all LSG players) except those from Rainford Smash. 


PS: Rainford Smash strongly deny claims that they are the source of this leak.     

Author: via Wigan Table Tennis League
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