Smash v Mavericks - match report

The Smash boys had another Mawdesley encounter this week with their visit to Mawdesley Mavericks ... who, by the way, were called Cotton Kings last season ... they were Wigan Roby Mill in 17/18 ... and they were Wigan Riverside in 16/17 ... they have changed name and home venue several times over four seasons ... conspiracy theories abound about the reasons for this.


Some think they do a moonlight flit at the end of each season without paying their bills ... others say it’s a tax dodge ... but the most likely explanation is that they are gradually moving nearer to Paul Penny’s house so that he can arrive on time for home matches.


Mickey ‘white legs’ Mahon, Emma McKinnon and Paul ‘Postie’ Penny represented Mavericks whilst the Smashers were Pimps Out Taylor, Scamperer and Dazla.


It was the first home game for Mickey White Legs at his teams new venue and Scamperer exploited his unfamiliarity with his home table ... 3-0 Smash.  Pimps Out Taylor then confused Emma with the devils spawn (aka long pimps) whilst always maintaining a genial smile ... he is a Cad.  When Scamperer also beat Emma this extended the Smash lead.


Mickey White Legs put some scores on the doors for Mavericks against a ring-rusty Dazla.  But when Smash won the doubles in three straights the scoreboard flashed out the most unlikely the score ... 15-3 to the Smash boys.


A belting five setter followed between Emma and Dazla ... they both went at it ... Dazla taking the last set. Then Pimps Out brandished his pimpled Excalibur once more beating Postie Paul in three ... the genial smile ever present.  He is both a Cad and a Bounder.


The running order had been rearranged but this wasn’t helping Mavericks ...they were well and truly on the ropes. Postie Paul took a game off Scamperer but it still went to Smash 3-1 ... and so to the final game.


Mickey White Legs v the Cad and Bounder with his ever present genial smile and his pimps out.  11-4 to Cad/Bounder and it felt like deja all over again. But Mickey Legs had other ideas, he controlled his game to take a 2-1 lead ... he was rewriting the script.  But the genial smile was painted on ... not a drop of sweat was spilled as the Cad/Bounder took it in the fifth. Final score 27-8 to Smash ... and they surprisingly sit at the top of Division 1.


The next 24 hours will be crucial for Smash.  The Supreme Courts decision on the proroging of Parliament will be published on Tuesday ... and if that delightful Mr Johnson gets away with it the Smash boys will immediately apply to prorogue the Wigan League through to April 2020.  That’s the only way they are going to win this division!


You couldn’t make it up.

Author: via Rainford Table Tennis Club
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