Match Report

Promotion favourites Wigan Wolves were guests at the Rainford Labour Club Stadium Arena of Light on Tuesday night. Their talismanic leader and chief Wolf, Bob Edwards, was on the injury list ... he had the fashionable Andy Murray hip problem and would probably miss the rest of the season.

David Lawless, Gary Chambers and Dennis Johnson lined up for Wolves whilst the Smash trio was Scamperer, Hibbster and Nick the Knife.

It’s GCSE year for young Wolf Lawless, so he played all his games at the start of the night ... the optimism of youth versus the experience of The Hibbster.  First the OAP took off his hearing aid ... he put his bat in his right hand ... and his asthmatic inhaler in his left ... what could possibly go wrong ... fifteen minutes later we were 9-9 in the fifth ... and with one giant gasp on his inhaler the Hibbster took it.

The Young Wolf had no such trouble in the next when he despatched Scamperer in three straights.  But Nick the Knife proved to be a sterner test. After an array of nets against him Nick managed to hang in ... he not only took it to five he won in five ... possibly his best display of the season. David then set off home to complete his homework ... if he is taking a GCSE in good manners and politeness he is sure to get an A*.

The Hibbster followed up his impressive win in the first game with a straight sets victory against Gary ... and Scamperer then did the same to Dennis ‘couldn’t stop a pig in a jigger’ Johnson.  Smash had a 12-8 lead at the half way point and extended this when the Hibbster/Scamperer combo took the doubles.

Wolves were definitely missing their chief Wolf.  But Gary got some points on the board by comfortably beating Scamperer 3-1.  Then the Hibbster and Nick the Knife both played tight, controlled table tennis to deliver two more straight sets wins for Smash ... and this completed a played three, won three scorecard for them both.

The Rainford Smash celebrity fan, Jeremy Corbyn, was listening to the live commentary via his hidden ear-piece at the House of Commons ... he was so overjoyed with the Smash result that he momentarily lost all control ... and inadvertently accepted an invitation to meet Theresa at Number 10 the next day.

Rainford Smash winning 25-11 and helping UK democracy at the same time.  You couldn’t make it up.
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