Match Report

Such is the friendliness of the Wigan League that Ian Taylor (of Smash) got a lift to the game by Dave Bennett (of Heinz) ... oh how Mr Bennett would regret this later.

 

The Rainford Labour Club Stadium Arena of Light entertained Sandra ‘Mossy’ Moss and Basher Bennett ... along with ... hang on where is their third player? A quick call to Sir Jim of Bolton found him at home watching the tele saying “I thought the game was tomorrow!”

 

The home side trio was Pimps Out Taylor, Dazla and Kraftwerk ... let’s not wait for Sir Jim of Bolton to arrive, let’s crack on ... Pimps Out Taylor v his ride home (Basher Bennett) ... take it easy Pimps... ooops too late, three nil to Smash. In strolls Beachwear Bolton who had hastily changed (in the dark apparently) for tonight’s match ... perhaps thinking it was at Rainford-on-Sea ... he had no sooner hitched up the net gusset on his Bermudas before it was 2-0 to Kraftwerk ... Beachwear Bolton pulled one back and a comeback was on the cards ... but after some top class thwacking it was soon game to Kraftwerk.

 

Dazla sped into a two set lead against Mossy but he hadn’t accounted for the Mossy resilience factor ... somehow it was 2-2 and Mossy then had the momentum ... steely stuff from the Heinz lass and they had their first win on the board.

 

Then it was a real ping pong ding dong ... wack thwack wham bam thank you ma'am and we ended up in the fifth set ... Basher Bennett had Kraftwerk at 10-8 ... Kraftwerk had Bennett at 11-10 ... but the experience of Bennett took it 13-11 ... and breathe.  Two games all on the night.  

 

Smash won the next two with Pimps Out beating the resilient Mossy and also taking the doubles ... 16-8 to Smash with four to play.  Then Dazla v Beachwear Bolton had some splendid entertainment ... Dazla struggling with his bad back and Beachwear still on Chicago time struggling with jet lag. 3-1 to Heinz.

 

Mossy v Kraftwerk ... it was as if a corner had been turned for Kraftwerk ... he was coming to terms with Division 1 ... he calmly won 3-0 ... after being 9-5 down in the third ... he’s a model and he’s looking good.

 

Bennett and Dazla had their ritual crash bang wallop with the Heinz boy crowning a good night's work, much enjoyed by the crowd.  Pimps Out finished what he started a couple of hours earlier with a straights win over a now tired and dispirited Beachwear Bolton ... he packed his bag and his water wings and headed home for a well deserved night's sleep ... the rest of the players headed for the bar for a well deserved pint.  24-14 to Smash on the night. 

 

Talk Sport had booked the DUP’s Arlene Foster to be guest pundit ... “a fabulous game and good night all round for Smash ... except for Dazla, I hope his back stops aching in the morning” ... she just can’t shut up about the back stop.

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