Had a weekend away in the Cotswolds and stumbled upon Prinknash Abbey, which is near Stroud. As we were walking in the grounds we stumbled upon a monk who was flagellating himself with a bundle of twigs. When we got closer I could see he was the spitting image of Peter Roberts. I asked him if he was related. 'Oh aye, he's my twin and he's the reason I'm doing this. It's in sufferance for all the misery he's inflicted on his opponents in the Glossop table tennis league. He won't do it himself so I've taken it on. Why do you know him?' 'Oh yes and I'm playing him next week, so give yourself another twenty lashes for me.' And so it came to pass I had three sets of misery when I played Peter last night. He's a complete mystery to me and at one stage I thought I'd died and gone to Purgatory. I thanked God when it was over. Brian got us off to a good start by seeing off the challenge of Barry but the Bandit did have him worried when he landed some storming back hand drives to take the third set. Unfortunately he got a bit giddy in the fourth and went for too many that weren't really on and perished. I gave Ben a decent game but his top spin driving and tricky serves were too much for me and also the great god of nets was on his side as well. Ian had a decent game with Peter and after losing the first two sets when he looked as if he'd rather be somewhere else. Which we all do when we're playing Peter, he fought back well to take the third and was well placed to take the fourth but a few unforced errors saw him lose it to nine. Barry is a totally different player to the one I first played many years ago. He never used to have a backhand drive and his forehands used to go everywhere but where they were aimed but since he's played in Div 1 and become involved in coaching, he's vastly improved and has a deadly backhand drive now. He made mincemeat of me in the first two sets but I came back well in the third and had an outside chance of taking it but once again the net went against me and I lost it 11/13. It's a long time since I've seen Brian so demoralised as he was when he played Peter. The rallies were good but the pace was just too slow for Brian to get his deadly top spin drives going and he lost in three. Ian's game v Ben was the game of the night and after losing the first two sets he found some good form with his blocking and counter driving and took the next two sets. He was very unlucky to lose the fifth as both players traded big drives but a couple of unforced errors saw Ben take the set to 12. Me against Peter, sat down. Nuff said! Barry had no answer to Ian as whenever he landed a really good backhand drive back it came at him before he could move and he succumbed in straight sets. Brian and Ben had a humdinger with some great rallies and although the Bandit took the first set once Brian got his eye in and the drives began to take their toll there was only one winner. Ian and Brian took the first set in the doubles but Peter and Barry fought back well to take the next three. So our last match of the season ended in defeat but there was some great tennis played, not from me I hasten to add and some jolly banter. I'm off on Friday for a weekend retreat to Prinknash Abbey for some self-flagellation for having an awful season. Thanks to all our opponents, have a good summer. Lee.

Written by: Lee Brown